PSYCHOTHERAPY
&
COUPLES
COUNSELING
with humor and compassion

MICHAEL Z. JODY L.P.,
M.A., M.A.
For Individuals & Couples
Anxiety, Depression, Career
Issues, Creative Issues,
Couples/Marriage/Partner Counseling,
Relationship Problems, Sexual Problems
By Appointment Only
(917)
825-8565
REASONABLE RATES, SLIDING SCALE FEES,
INSURANCE ACCEPTED
Two offices:
Suite 534
New York, NY 10010
_________________________________________________
Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own
heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who
looks inside, awakens.
CARL
JUNG (1875-1961)
HOW DOES TALK THERAPY WORK?
There is a writers’ saying: “How can I
know what I think until I see what I say?”
This is called shaping at the
point of utterance. The same
principle applies powerfully to psychotherapy.
Sometimes you don’t know what you really feel until you begin exploring and
unpacking your thinking. Discussing your
thoughts, feelings, emotions, conflicts and problems with another person can be
of great help. If that person is caring,
professionally trained, smart, sensitive and objective, then talking with that
person and exploring your difficulties and concerns can be illuminating, and of
tremendous assistance.
Airing your thinking aloud with a
professional, focused, compassionate second ear, can help you to unpack your emotions,
rethink chronic problems and worries, and live more consciously. It can give you clarity and allow you to see your problems and issues in a new light. The next time you
find yourself depressed; anxious; creatively blocked; in conflict with your
mate, family or children; engaging in an unhealthy behavior like reaching
for a drink, fattening food, or a drug, you may be better able to comprehend
why you are driven to do so, and make conscious some of the connections that were
previously unconscious. What happened to
trigger the feeling or behavior? Why did
it happen then? And most important: must
it always proceed like that or can you do something to prevent such harmful or unproductive behaviors from recurring?
Self-awareness and understanding are the
necessary first steps to turning injurious behaviors around. Real change can only follow
self-knowledge and self-understanding. And it is such
genuine change that finally allows you to free yourself from chronic problems
and live your life more consciously and with greater pleasure and freedom.
_________________________________________________
A
happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
ROBERT QUILLEN
(1887-1948)
HOW DOES COUPLES COUNSELING WORK?

The aim of couples counseling is to
improve communication and increase understanding between partners. As with individual talk therapy, when
thoughts and feelings are brought into the light, ventilated and examined
honestly, calmly and openly, then each member of the couple will be better
heard, understood, sympathized with and respected. From such enhanced understanding comes increased acceptance, tolerance and
forbearance. When partners understand
each other, they are better able to forgive, accept, appreciate, and ultimately
love one another.
No relationship will ever be without its struggles,
wrangles, and disputes. However, there
are two basic kinds of fight or conflict in any marriage or relationship: unconstructive
conflict and constructive conflict.
In unconstructive conflict, people fight, get hurt and angry, say things
they later regret, and possibly even escalate into actions that damage each
other or the relationship. Constructive
conflict, on the other hand, is where differences of opinion are honestly
examined, and a new level of understanding and compromise is arrived
at.
How can you tell the difference between
the two kinds of conflict? Simple. After an unconstructive conflict, both parties tend to feel worse, and
nothing has been positively addressed or changed. On the other hand, after
a constructive conflict, the issue has been resolved or at least improved, and both parties feel
better.
The main job of the marriage counselor is
to provide a safe and protected space where each partner will feel safe,
supported and assisted in making her or his thoughts, feelings and needs known
and understood. Each member of the
couple should feel secure, respected, heard, and understood. And each should be able to speak freely from
the heart without being afraid or feeling negatively judged.
As one of my patients once said, “I speak in Ellie and he hears me in Matt.” (Don’t worry, I changed the names.) A counselor may act as interpreter,
clarifier, mediator, translator, and intermediary. Counseling can help couples out of recurrent
fights and seemingly irresolvable issues, it can allow partners to move on
after an affair, and it can help you to really hear and see one another. Marriage counseling can help and succeed at every
stage of a relationship, beginning, middle and even at the end where a divorce
mediation process may save a great deal of pain, heartache, anger, and even
some attorney’s fees.
_________________________________________________
Amagansett
(Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Monday)
156 Fifth Avenue (@20th Street)
Suite 534
New York, NY 10010
QUESTIONS?
Please feel free to call (917) 825-8565
or email me at:
QUALIFICATIONS, AFFILIATIONS, & MEMBERSHIPS:
Licensed
Psychoanalyst (L.P.)
M.A.:
M.A.:
Affiliated
Referral Psychotherapist: Theodor Reik
Clinical Center for Psychotherapy,
Member:
The American Counseling
Association (ACA)
Member: The International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors (IAMFC)
Member: Division 39 of the American Psychological Association (Div39/APA)Associate
Member: National Association
for the Advancement of Psychoanalysis (NAAP)
NY State Education Dept., Office of the Professions Online
Verification: http://www.op.nysed.gov/opsearches.htm
The American Psychiatric
Association: http://www.thebody.com/apa/apapage.html
©
2008 Michael Z. Jody
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©
2007 Michael Z. Jody